Moving Beyond the Conflict

Conflict hurts, and people respond to pain in three stages: “Denial” – In this stage, people deny they have a problem. They try to maintain the status quo. They are not ready to negotiate, and if they make an offer, they do it only to show how reasonable they are, and that others are to blame. “Anger” – When people finally admit they have a problem, they may explode with emotion. They are no longer in denial, but they are not ready to deal with the problem. “Acceptance” – Now the negotiator has something to work with. “Letting go and moving beyond is a form of grieving. The [...]

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict|0 Comments

The Social Style Model

Different social or communication styles cause interpersonal problems, especially because these styles are deeply rooted in personality and culture. Communication styles have two dimensions: Assertiveness – “Ask-assertive” people are indirect about getting what they want, and speak slowly and softly, while “tell-assertive” people directly insist on getting their way and speak loudly and forcefully. “Responsiveness” – “Control-responsive” people have a limited vocal range and use few facial expressions or gestures. “Emote-responsive” people have a broad vocal range, use many gestures, and have animated facial features. The quality of our communication processes [is] central to the experience of conflict.” Ask-assertives or control-responsives may feel bullied by tell-assertives or emote-responsives. [...]

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict|0 Comments

The Dimensions of Conflict

People come into conflict over the way they think, feel and act. Each dimension responds to these different techniques: Address clashes about ideas by introducing new data, reinterpreting existing data or reframing the information. Address emotional clashes by acknowledging the validity of the parties’ feelings and creating a safe place where they can vent. Address clashes over behavior by identifying the “trigger” actions that created the conflict developing ground rules for interactions or helping the parties change. Suggested Reading:

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict|0 Comments

The Dynamics of Trust

“Trust” means “having positive expectations about another’s motives and intentions,” in the face of “potential risk.” When people are hurt or in conflict, they do not trust one another; yet trust is necessary for conflict resolution. When something bad happens, people look for a cause. They tend to interpret others’ motivations in ways that reinforce their self-respect and worldview, along a continuum from blaming the situation to blaming others: Situation – The circumstances were beyond your control: You did not receive enough training; you did your best; your action doesn’t represent your true character. Intrinsic nature – Others unintentionally caused the problem: They had good motivations; they didn’t [...]

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict|0 Comments

Interests, Rights, and Power

Interests, Rights, and Power is a model not of conflicts themselves, but of conflict-resolution processes, which the model categorizes into three types: Interest-based processes – These focus on the needs and wants of the parties and attempt to reconcile them. They’re collaborative and emphasize building relationships and compromising. However, they take a lot of time, and the attempt to reach a mutually agreeable solution may fail. The outcome of these processes is “win/win.” Rights-based processes – These focus on the parties’ rights as spelled out in laws, contracts, and other documents. They apply the same standards to everyone, and people see the results as fair. These processes are [...]

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict, Uncategorized|0 Comments

The Boundary Model 

Boundaries can be physical, behavioral, or social. They share four characteristics: They define standards of behavior – A highway speed limit establishes a behavior to which all drivers must conform. They have legitimacy – A government agency establishes the speed limit. They are enforceable – If you drive over the speed limit, a police officer will give you an expensive ticket. They are usually flexible – The posted speed limit on a highway may be 65 miles per hour, but in practice the speed limit is closer to 70. This degree of flexibility is called the “norm.” In other words, the boundary is 65 miles per hour, while [...]

By |April 12th, 2021|Categories: Approaches, Leading Through Conflict|0 Comments


Go to Top